When the Soul Speaks, Listen
I sat at my office desk at that insurance company, looking around at the faces around me. I just feel like I don’t belong here. This doesn’t fill me, I thought. I looked at all the faces over my little cubicle wall, some people standing at their upright desks, some people smiling and chatting across their little wall, some people buried in their spreadsheets.
Am I missing something?
It was like everyone was in on a joke that I didn’t understand. Like, the Truman Show. Like, my soul aches for something deep and real and alive. Is everyone else satisfied here?
“This is stable and good. You have been working to get here for so long,” my mind said.
“But I’m starving,” my soul said.
Weeks of this tension continued.
“So many people would love this steady and secure job,” logic argued.
“I’m suffocating,” my soul whispered back, deflated.
“There is nothing wrong here. The people are lovely, the work is interesting enough,” logic pressed.
“But it feels deeply wrong. I don’t belong here,” my soul finally admitted.
The next Monday, I asked my boss if I could talk to him. The next Wednesday afternoon, I was back in my apartment, without a job, but my soul whispered, thank you.
And then, I faced the blank canvas. The empty days. So, what now? And, what have I done?
I never let myself think about it for more than 60 seconds. That was my rule. There is no going back now. So after 60 seconds, I had to look forward.
Up to this point, journaling was my refuge, my safe and soft place, my home. So I decided to begin sharing my writing on Instagram. That November day in 2019, I pulled out some courage and wrote,
I really hope you say yes
My lovely friend, if you have a dream, you need to follow it. And not just follow it, but chase after it, sprint for it... Go towards it with passion, with a fighting spirit, with lust.
So many people are walking around with silenced dreams because they shoved them away countless times for predictability, comfort, for the 'easy' route. Don't let that be you, my lovely friend. You've got the strength, you've got the abilities, you've got the heart. Your only question is: do you have a few tiny moments of bravery to say,
yes.”
A few months later, I began selling prints of my poems and quotes. And then, I self published my first book.
A year after my first post, I had another book published.
Another year later, in November, I went on a writing retreat because I felt like I could finally call myself a writer and met my now husband.
Another year later, we got married.
Another year later, the biggest blessing was born, our precious son.
Another year later, my little guy snuggles with me as I type this.
Logic vs Soul
Logic never convinces the soul of something the soul knows to be true. It can’t. Logic doesn’t see everything. It can seem like truth but the soul sees everything hidden. The soul remembers things our minds don’t. The soul knows things we can’t understand.
What I know most of all, is that if you listen to your dear and precious soul, if you surrender to her (or his) voice, if you say, I don’t understand, but okay. Yes. Your life will transform and change. For the better. Maybe not right away. But it absolutely will.
It isn’t always easy to listen to the whispers of your soul, but after these past many years I now know that it is always harder to ignore your dear soul.
So, if you have a dream, for a little garden pot of flowers or for a life of chasing the stars, I hope you go for it. I hope you say, yes.
You don’t need to have it all figured out. You don’t need all of the answers. Part of the magic is found in trusting the unknown.
And you don’t need to uproot your life. You don’t need to drastically change everything or move across the country.
You simply need to sit with your soul and say, I am listening. I trust you.
Love, Nikki Warne
If you want to walk the earth a little lighter, a little gentler, and with greater love, you can find my newest book, Walk the Earth, here.
If you want to bring peace to the waters within, this book is for you.